Cross View Blog

If we didn't know it before this past week, we know it now: giving begins at home. In normal life, we usually look beyond the walls of our own house for people to receive our gifts, but in these days of stay-at-home quarantine, our focus changes to those within six feet.

Now by necessity, it is to the people of our household we are directed to give our gifts.  Herein lies the problem: our spouse and children can be the most difficult of all because of familiar human faults, especially now that we are cooped up together for days and weeks.

"Please, give me a break",  we think as we bump into one another with our same self-centered habits. Little irritations can lead to bigger resentments and build walls of silence. Worse yet, relationships can get stuck in unhealthy places. Needs get neglected and our home becomes our least favorite place.

Nevertheless, Scripture commands that our first priority is to meet the needs of our families. To neglect them is a serious offense. The man or woman who is constantly reaching outside the home may be overlooking the very people nearest them.

 What are some gifts we can give those closest to us? There are many such gifts including our patience, our forgiveness, and our understanding.

I know how easy it is to slip into my own little world of introversion. Although I am physically near someone, I practice emotional social distancing; not a good thing, especially now.

For personal reasons, I'm adding to the list our time and attention.  My fault is to become so involved in reading or writing that I withdraw into my world and don't open up as to what I am thinking or feeling. It is okay to be "a man of few words" as long as the words are not too few. Norwegian bachelor farmers are bachelors for a good reason.

So, I must repeatedly remind myself to be available and emotionally present. This is my most important contribution to my household. Yours may be different. Whatever your contribution, it is vital in order to maintain a functional family.

If humor is the oil of relationships, time and attention are the engines of relationships.

During this holy season of Lent, we are encouraged to make a serious moral inventory of our souls, confess our specific faults, and then make amends for our sins that crucified our LORD.

When we uncover some bad habits that are "close to home," we ask for His help to make the necessary changes. This present confinement may be our best opportunity to do so. God has certainly given us the time!

The gifts we give to those at home are most needed and will be the most appreciated. To be fully present, body and soul, with those whom you love is the best gift of all, the gift of SELF.

Paul Emmel is a retired pastor in the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod, having served as a parish pastor, a correctional chaplain for the Wisconsin Department of Corrections, and a hospital chaplain and a community counselor. As a retired pastor, Paul continues to serve the Lord and His people, including establishing the Minnesota South District’s “Pastors to Prisoners” ministry.